December 10, 2009

THE HANGOVERER"S GUIDE TO HANGING OVER!!!

I realized, within the last sixty seconds, that I hadn't posted this on my blog. Uh, this blog. Whatever. Anyway.

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

THE HANGOVERER'S GUIDE TO HANGING OVER!!!
Edition One, unrevised

This 3-step guide to Hanging Over is concise, quick, and helpful to the everyday Hangoverer-wannabe! With this guide, most humans learn to Hangover within an hour, some even in minutes!

This guide comes to you free of any charge, and is not copyrighted in any way, shape or form!


The Hangeverer's Guide to Hanging Over!


Hangovering is a new way that assures maximum hangover potential, ranging, in the worst cases, from an indescribable desire to wed an orangutan, to the best case, in which Caps Lock stays on 24/7, and your voice becomes not unlike the noise which one might hear upon droping lead sheets on gravel. This effect has been desired for ages, and the way is now shown, free of charge, and has a warranty unlike any before it!


Step 1: Before you Hang.
First, you must compose yourself and not panic. This is, of course, a very unusual and complicated step, but it is necessary.

Step 2: Drink the Milk.
Pour at least ten (10) ounces of good, fresh, cold milk into an everyday generic glass. It doesn't have to be glass, though. And, yes, goblets do ruin the effect. Drink the milk. Don't worry about the milk, getting drunk doesn't hurt. Also, remember that glasses oughtn't be thrown across a room, especially after they've been Drunk out of.

Step 3: Get Drunk.
This step is obviously directed toward the Milk, and will usually be followed naturally. In rare cases, the Milk refuses, in which instance scolding on the part of the Hangoverer towards the Milk might become necessary, which has, in all living memory, solved the problem.

The result is a fine combination of the inability to turn off Caps Lock, and the type of voice Death is credited for. These effects usually last for more than six hours, and are potent except for the last ten seconds!

Notes:

In the case of a Hangover, non-caps letters indicate emphasis, meaning that such things as "lol" would be the Caps'd equivolent of "LOL". This is often referred to as the Reverse Case Effect, for reasons not obvious to the sane mind.

This is a written production by Twiddling Thumbs Studios

I wrote this sometime last year, I think...and, obviously, I'm somewhat proud of it. Otherwise, you wouldn't see it here. *wonders if he posted MFWG...not without trepidation...*


!Noah!

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