December 11, 2009

GELENYSE-BERTILSON FINALLY REVEALS PLANS, BERTILSON SAYS, TOO LATE, AND THIS GAME CAN BE PLAYED BY TWO!

Around an hour ago, the Gelenyse-Bertilson campaign, by the bugle of Miss Bertilson, announced its "Great Big" plans for Islas' reform and/or livening. An excerpt.

"To intrigue our voters and prove to the opposition that we really have deep things in mind (though perhaps not all the time), the Geleynse campaign has decided to release one of our schemes for the future of ISLAS."

Mr. Bertilson offered point-by-point criticism.

"Well, first of all, as you said, this is the second day the elections have been open. I'd guess that at least a third of all votes are cast at this time. Personally, the idea of releasing information after the polls open seems ridiculous. However, given that this race is merely to eliminate a candidate who will be eliminated, I think we can forgive that. In essence, this election is a minor, unimportant milestone three will come to, and two will pass.

"More importantly, however, this approach, bringing serious, actual action that truly affects real life...it's never happened before. I was there in 2008, and I'm here now. We debated about what the public policy should be, world policy, etc, but never something we would actually be able to do which would take positive action in the world. Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing! However, there was nothing to make clear to anyone that this election was to make any actual change in the world. I believe, when announced, everyone believed this was an election merely for the sake of fun. GB is attempting to make it much more than that."

"One of our strongest supporters, Erin Blake made the suggestion that we ISLASers collect money to donate to a charity. It would bring us all together and help us to make a habit of giving. It would help educate us of the evils that are out there and that, as Christians, we need to fight."

Mr. Bertilson offered further comment. "Call me a die-hard senseless opponent of change, but to change the general focus, the main goal of the election to the goal of changing the world in one way or another, however good an idea, should not happen in the middle of the election."

"Either, once we have found a suitable noble charity, we could donate money, or clothes--or maybe make things if the charity accepts non-monetary donations."

"I personally find nothing wrong with this idea. However, I myself have considered myself a miser in varying degrees, throughout my life, not to mention the minute amount of money I usually have in my bank account or in my pocket at any given time.

"I hate to have to say this, in fact, but having government policy that encourages giving, however wise that might be in real life, doesn't seem like a good idea here. I sincerely doubt we'd manage to scrape up a thousand dollars (or objects of similar value) in a single year. That said, if this were to work, if we were to find someone to match our donations, if donations were not made public in any way, even the totals, I think, this might be a good idea that could go forward. And, please, people, if the Republic is elected and we end up initiating a similar or identical plan, you cannot complain. Otherwise, the goal of adding this policy to your ever-vague campaign platform is not for the sole reason of making Islas a more useful, productive, and meaningful organization in the real world. If you complain in that case, your goal is to win the election, first, and to do Islas good, second."

Though some of us had fallen asleep by this time, our eyes were wide open when the stunning silence ensued. Mr. Bertilson tried to look around as if he'd done something anyone could have. Our faces couldn't have portrayed anything but awe for five straight seconds. Then we got back to work.


!Noah!

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