September 29, 2009


In a disgusting turn of events, Islasers the world over are accusing Mr. Bertilson, famed Islaser, dolt, and vice-presidential candidate on the de Salsa ticket, of naming his MP3 player, Quivie, after kiwi sauce, perhaps a delicacy, but, for Islasers, a foul and traitorous thing. As is well known, Mr. Bryan Dage frequently goes by the name, "Kiwi." This, combined with the alleged translation of Quivie into Spanish, outputs the heinous words, "Kiwi Sauce." It was early today that Mr. Bertilson once again returned to headquarters to explain current events.

"It's rather strange, really, but I did name Quivie 'de Salsa' only for means of campaigning. The thing is, I had no intention or knowledge that either of the words in her name were Spanish, let alone spell out perfectly, the words, 'Kiwi Sauce.' Still, I would doubt this allegation, even now. You see, Miss Dage, mere days ago, was rather irked by Google Translator's translations of German, I'd assume. How can we trust it? A translator which gets German wrong's just about as likely to get Spanish wrong.

"Even considering that, my intent in naming Quivie as I did was merely to part slightly from her model type, Sansa. This, however, seems to have been something of a bad decision. Quivie nor I will take any measures to change this situation, but we can both assure that, if elected, we will not take any action against Mr. Dage in specific, or kiwis in general."

De Salsa also offered short but meaningful comment.

"It's really what you can come to expect, when campaigns can think of nothing else to toss at us. It happened last year, with my friend Mr. Bertilson, and it'll keep happening this year. All we can do is bear it and hope it comes to nothing."


September 23, 2009

Your Weekly Cryptic Number Sequence v. 2!

Ok. The solution, if you can call it that, for the previous one was this...

The numbers are simply the products of two consecutive primes squared, i.e. (1x1)*(2x2)=4, (2x2)*(3x3)=36, etc, etc. I'm sorry if these things are confusing and, hem, overly cryptic, but these things interest me sooo flippin' much.


0, 0, 1, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 5, 1, 5, 3, 1, 3...

This sequence, I think, doesn't, at least the way I computed it, have anything to do with squares.


September 22, 2009


Bertilson was found, today, knocking on the door to HQ, sometime around five in the morning. His purpose was hard to discern, of course, but we soon learned.

"It has been said, recently, that the point to Quivie's campaign isn't obvious, if not that the utter ambiguity of it is mind-boggling. I think I'll simply clarify a bit, so people needn't wonder.
"The reason and object of our campaign is simple. Lameness exists in Islas, and would be greater threatened, say, by a Hunter-Hilton presidency than by a De Salsa - Bertilson presidency. Some might call for the abolition of lameness, but if we did, who would we have to compare Miss Hunter, for instance, with? Without an opposite to reason and rationality, there is hardly any contrast. We would have to compare our Hiltons with our Embreys, our (L.) Hunters with our Gabriel Bertilsons. This cannot be. We must maintain the contrast. It's up to you. Remember, get the lame in the game; Vote De Salsa-Bertilson in '09."


September 21, 2009


It was with bated breath that we recieved our first HD video recording from Mr. Bertilson.

"It's with some regret, and yet, I think, much hope, that I continue, with Quivie, her campaign for the presidency. I hope those I led to believe we would soon quit the race will forgive me for attempting to further our campaign."

Our trembling hands returned to HQ with the video, soon to be viewable to all.


September 19, 2009

The Meaning of Life

Ok, just so you know, I'm not writing this because I think I have the answer, but because I think the question's not clear. If I were asked what the meaning of life was, I'd ask for elaboration, possibly right away. Either that or immediately rephrase the question myself.

What is the meaning of life?

Just look at it. Am I supposed to define the word "life"? I kinda doubt that was the intention. Also, we can't really say the meaning of life is even, "To glorify God and enjoy him forever," as the definition of, "life" as our culture would put it, definitely isn't something eternal. If we're to understand life as something that doesn't end at the death we will all know, then you could rephrase the question...

What is the purpose of man's existence?

This way, I think, the question is clear enough that I could answer it with the answer to the first question of the Westminister Shorter Chatechism, "Man's cheif end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever."

I got an answer, but not to the original question. Who ever made that question up, anyway?

Irrevocably yours,


September 16, 2009

Your Weekly Cryptic Number Sequence!

Ok. I just decided to do this out of the blue. Feel free to guess what the sequences are.

One I thought of sometime today...

4, 36, 225, 1225, 11858, 20449, 48841...

And, please. Try to go for the utterly non-obvious. I wouldn't go so far as even, say, the second number, if there wasn't something interesting and/or unique about these specific ones. Bleh.


September 11, 2009

Remember, Remember the Eleventh of September

After seeing just one video concerning eight years ago's events, I have little to say. On September eleventh, men raised their fists at America, and struck down more than three thousand of us. It is our duty to remember this, tell it to our children, and inspire the, "quiet, unyielding anger" that Mr. Bush spoke of on that dreadful day. Forgetting that terrible day, and what it implies for our future, is akin in magnitude to forgetting the knowledge, but mostly wisdom, that centuries before wrote in books, spoke to crowds, and thought with conviction.

We must never forget September the eleventh. Then, we were brutally and mercilessly assaulted by men who hate America solely for the immense and wonderful liberty that Americans have, share, and allow, to anyone who enters our country legally. Imagine a world where we forgot that there used to be two gargantuan, near identical towers on Manhattan Island. Forgetting any part of our past is to flout the wisdom and knowledge of those before us, and endanger those who will proceed us. The stuff of the past is more valuable than ten thousand times ten million times all our nation's wealth. Few or no other mediums can teach us as much, admonish us as aptly, or commend us as correctly. Few of those before us would wish themselves forgotten, if not because they were wise and knowledgeable, then because they were proud. Our past, if studied, ensures our future security.

The importance of the present and future are second only to the past.

(how do you like the header, by the way? It's a picture of the Manhattan area from space circa 9/11/01.)


September 08, 2009


It was with startled surprise and mild annoyance that we received a call from Mr. Bertilson this morning. He seemed ecstatic. We attempted to convey our entirely opposite emotions, but he was so out of breath that he didn't even hear us. For those who haven't heard, Mr. Bertilson was pardoned by Mr. Ahern himself after offering, and then giving, a s'more to the kind Miss Roorda. We don't mean to say we're glad he's not gone, but the annoyance, mostly to Mr. Ahern's discredit, was rather great.

We having arrived at Mr. Bertilson's current residence, welcomed and seated, Mr. Bertilson took a deep breath, and spoke thus,
"Ok. Quite simply, I'm running for vice president." Honestly, that threw us first off our guard,
"You see, when I ran last year, I both ran for president, and forgot one thing. That one thing is so obvious it's near unbelievable, at this time, to imagine my forgetting it, and yet, I did. Put briefly, I forgot that I was human. Why is this a problem? Don't make me laugh. Running for president are so utterly related that it's odd I never though of this before. Instead, my dear MP3 player, Quivie, presented me with the idea. Indeed, she's running for president, with me as a running mate. The idea, I think, could also be credited mildly to Mr. Denhoed, or Mr. Denhoed. After all, who's better as a vice president than someone with the mental capacity of one or two average-grade bungling morons?"

The wisdom of his words struck the deepest tones in our souls, and we nodded as if enchanted, staring at him. We repeated the motion to let him know we wished him to continue. He did.
"Now, the sole purpose, of course, of running with a machine is utterly obvious." He looked at us expectantly. "Half the life insurance coverage?" one of us said, looking puzzled, after a while. Mr. Bertilson chuckled. "No. You remember that decade-old movie, The Matrix?" We all nodded emphatically. Each of us couldn't have less than two copies hidden in either our desks, computers, or digital devices. "Now, in that movie, the machines took over the world, enslaving, in a sense, the whole human race, harvesting the energy from their bodies to power themselves." Some of us squirmed. "The director of that movie, Dante, obviously, knew what he was talking about. The machines really will take over." We stared.
Now, the only obvious thing to do is to join the ones we already have. That's why Quivie's running for president. In such a position of power, organizing resistance and, at the same time, educating iguanas, will move forward at a much-accelerated pace. This said, the world may still not survive.
"Remember. Vote De Salsa - Bertilson '09, because we already do know the machines will take over."

We left his house, spellbound. As we walked back to headquarters, we contemplated Mr. Bertilsons words, eventually deciding to place a heavy editorial slant in favor of Mr. Bertilson on this article.


September 05, 2009

Eighteen Minutes Left

Aye. Anyway, I just took the time to avidly mentally expostulate on the horrible life one would endure if they insisted on everything they watched, listened to, and, hmm, saw, was "Christian". Quite simply, being made to believe such a lifestyle was necessary to enjoy God's good pleasure would entirely throw me off being his devoted follower. Not only, I think, is the majority of "Christian" art (mainly music and movies), quite simply, trash, but there's so much, quite simply, epic art made by people who are, and, perhaps, will, to the day they die, be unbelievers. I'm not an avid student of the arts, meaning I can't really give many examples, but, if I weren't in an overly mentally active state of mind, my hands weren't soggy with dirty water, and I hadn't just left my dishes, I'd spend at least a minute or two attempting to think of one or two.



September 03, 2009


Er, no. I just remembered what I was going to say. I've just decided to randomly post concerning a movie, or rather a miniseries, or something.

Wives and Daughters

Quite simply, watch it. If you haven't watched it, watch it. If you don't want to watch it, watch it. If you've already watched it, watch it.

EDIT: On another note, I'm sorry for not posting more/sooner. One HD video has arrived on Youtube, and is currently available for watchage on my channel.