BERTILSON UNIVERSALLY ASSAULTED FOR NAMING MP3 PLAYER QUIVIE DE SALSA, DENIES ALMOST ALL PREVIOUS STUDY OF SPANISH

In a disgusting turn of events, Islasers the world over are accusing Mr. Bertilson, famed Islaser, dolt, and vice-presidential candidate on the de Salsa ticket, of naming his MP3 player, Quivie, after kiwi sauce, perhaps a delicacy, but, for Islasers, a foul and traitorous thing. As is well known, Mr. Bryan Dage frequently goes by the name, "Kiwi." This, combined with the alleged translation of Quivie into Spanish, outputs the heinous words, "Kiwi Sauce." It was early today that Mr. Bertilson once again returned to headquarters to explain current events.

"It's rather strange, really, but I did name Quivie 'de Salsa' only for means of campaigning. The thing is, I had no intention or knowledge that either of the words in her name were Spanish, let alone spell out perfectly, the words, 'Kiwi Sauce.' Still, I would doubt this allegation, even now. You see, Miss Dage, mere days ago, was rather irked by Google Translator's translations of German, I'd assume. How can we trust it? A translator which gets German wrong's just about as likely to get Spanish wrong.

"Even considering that, my intent in naming Quivie as I did was merely to part slightly from her model type, Sansa. This, however, seems to have been something of a bad decision. Quivie nor I will take any measures to change this situation, but we can both assure that, if elected, we will not take any action against Mr. Dage in specific, or kiwis in general."

De Salsa also offered short but meaningful comment.

"It's really what you can come to expect, when campaigns can think of nothing else to toss at us. It happened last year, with my friend Mr. Bertilson, and it'll keep happening this year. All we can do is bear it and hope it comes to nothing."


!Noah!