February 26, 2009

MR. BERTILSON TO BE BURNT AT THE STAKE, IS OUTRAGED.

Upon stepping on the threshold of Mr. Bertilson's house today, we were stunned to find the house shaking. Upon further entering the house, we found Mr. Bertilson fuming nearly uncontrollably in the kitchen. Upon seeing us, however, he calmed down, made us some over-sugared coffee, and led us once more to his living room, which, by some amazing change, was now covered, from top to bottom, in everything from laptops to desktops, from paper to papers, and many other varied things. Mr. Bertilson's spirit still seemed to boil, but he nonetheless began speaking at once.

"I was sentenced to a fate worse than death. A fate worse than death! And this is all I get? Being burned at the stake?" Our team gasped in unison.
"It's simply outrageous. My 'fate worse than death', as it was so aptly called, was merely being married to the very fine young woman I suggested, without malicious intent, for Mr. President. I had, beforehand, been, in one way or another, warned of such a fate, but its potency now does not scare me in the least. I had guessed, at that time, that the 'fate worse than death' had something or other to do with death's opposite, life, but this was better than I could have known. I still, do however not anticipate the moment when I should marry Miss Roorda, who is my elder by a good two years, at least.
"The Ahern Embrey administration seems incapable to understand that, under current laws, this 'fate worse than death' cannot happen, as consent which, I might add, will not be given, by either party, is necessary.
"It is purely sad, the levels Mr. President has and will go to punish petty charges against spotless individuals, me not included, of course. Ahern's use of matrimony forced by himself, an offical, to accomplish his goals, is utterly shameful. I am not one to plead for order, to crush chaos, but Mr. President seems unable to bring one, or crush the other, let alone the opposite.
"I am officially dead. Mr. Ahern has proclaimed that Islas does not discriminate against ghosts. I am glad to hear it. It is nice to know a ghost can sit on a bus next to a living man and not be told to go to the back of the bus. It is nice to know that a ghost can go to the same bathroom as a living man. It is nice to know a ghost is allowed to post on Islas, just as a living man.
"I have faith that the most powerful Ls have not been comprimised by this worthless rule. If they have, I suggest that Islas be moved to new grounds, with new admins, and a system to elect them. I do not yet rebel against their rule. So far, it has been more than just. However, if they have succumed to any of Mr. Ahern's demands, if there are any, they have proved most disgraceful to Islas.
"I do not know when I am to be burned at the stake, but I look forward to it less than I do for Christmas, and more than I do, taking out the trash. Death has proved, in the past, to change nothing, on Islas. Even Death himself has been on Islas, ushering souls into the next world, but even him I did not fear, for death, Death, or whatever you may call it, has not scared me in the past, and will not in the future.
"But really. I had almost anticipated being married to Miss Roorda. And then the man canceled that marriage merely because Miss Roorda had to preform my execution. This is outrageous."

Here's the link to the official thingy by Mr. Ahern: http://dagenet2.ath.cx/islas/Prosecution.wma

Our team looked somewhat stunned, and yet energized, as we drove back to headquarters.

Your annoyed, somewhat happy, and somewhat depressed writer,


!Noah!

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