In a stunning continuation of events, newly elected Islas president John Ahern announced the soon-to-be execution of six, aye, SIX of the current Islas members.We found our most frequent informant, Mr. Bertilson, looking more flustered than he had in all previous
times combined. Upon being asked for comments, Bertilson took a deep breath and said, "Ahern's been nothing but trouble ever since he entered the wombat-shaped office. He's reduced the Islas population at an alarming rate, unequaled in all other societies combined. Well, maybe not that bad, but he's really blown a hole in the population."
The official announcement, presented by Mr. Ahern himself.
After viewing the video with our reporting team, Mr. Bertilson grew so outraged that it took a few minutes to calm him down. After getting into a more reportable state, Bertilson said thus: "It's unbelieveable, the insane charges this administration is pressing. I myself, I admit, was on my toes with angst the second Ahern made attemt to pronounce the Bertilson name. I was honestly afraid that the clodhopping Colorado man would have me executed!"
EDIT: As is helpful, here's a list of the executed-to-be:
G. Bertilson, K. Burns, P. Hilton, L. Holms, L. Hunter, L. Russell.
These numbers leaving a net Islas population of 60 people, few of which have even posted on the Islas forum.
Sincerely,
your most unbiased source for news on everything Islas.
8 comments:
Excecution? That's extreme (at least for the posting offenders; as for the members that have never posted, I'm not worried). I say we stand up to Mr Ahern and say that, if he excecutes the anti-Ahern news people, we'll have descended into a state of communism!
Oops, above posted is me-
The Tolkienist
Angst.
Righto, Mr. T.
Thanks, H-bomb.
!Noah!
I think that it's perfectly right and within power for President John to execute people. Besides, Where is your grief over your brother dying? You just said you were glad it wasn't you.
When we has the country of Islas elected John, we elected him to rule. Not just to diddle, so no complaining.
...besides, it's hilariously awesome! XD
Oooh, of course it's totally right and within his power. There's just this minor problem that he's executed 1/11th the population of Islas before he's graduated from his first month in office. And that's all totally not mentioning that he's executed them all without a single trial.
!Noah!
Again, have the executions already occurred? What fun is that?
Precisely, H-bomb. We didn't even get to see our fellow Islasers die. No executions should be carried out without a proper audience.
!Noah!
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