Being purtier than Paris Hilton or "Cuter" than Tom Cruise not a requirement for Islas signup...mobs mob the wombat-shaped office

Reporting from outside the Purple House, our top presidential expert analyzes the situation not only unbiasedly, but also concisely and expertly.

The Purple Lawn: Well, from out here on the Purple Lawn, you can see honest-to-goodness mobs mobbing the Purple House. It's really unprecedented in Islas Presidential history.

Newsroom: And this is obviously never going to be equaled, right?

The Purple Lawn: Yes, it's never happened before. Just look at the size of these mobs! They stretch all the way from the lines up front, throwing tomatoes at the windows, to a couple of miles away, down Wombat Way. It's just really one of the greatest mobbings in Islas history.

Newsroom: Incredible. Why are these mobs mobbing the Purple house, by the way?

The Purple Lawn: Why? Because no Islas member yet has been put to a "Prettier than Hilton" or "Cuter than Cruise" test. It's really unbelievable!

Newsroom: What!? There hasn't been a requirement in Islas signup for that? I knew there was a blank I hadn't seen on that thing.

The Purple Lawn: Honestly. That should have been one of the founding principles! And here we learn that our presidential candidates weren't required to be more pretty than Paris Hilton, or, in the majority of cases, "cuter"...than Tom Cruise.

Newsroom: Agreed. This is unprecedented new knowledge. I can't believe that we've lived all these months without such a requirement.

Earlier today, a certain Miss Roorda made the firm statement that Mr. Ahern is "...WAAAAY better looking than Tom Cruise."

Singing off, this is your most unbiased anchor on everything Islas, Noaj Jabzarkonski.

Good night, and good day.

UPDATE: I fixed a bit of the conversation, because I didn't introduce the actual content of the requirement earlier.


!Noah!