Earlier this morning, I interviewed Miss Russell on her opinion concerning the recent executions of Islas members, her being one of them.
me: Oh, Hi!
Basically, I want you to put it in your own words...how well your execution was carried out.
Russell: In my own words? Oh, the freedom.
The Ahern-Embrey administration completely botched it.
Obviously, I'm quite well.
me: Really?
Were you even contacted?
Russell: Never been better.
me: Arrested?
Russell: Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
me: Incredible.
Russell: And this speaks volumes about the capability and organization of our current President.
(NECESSARY REMOVAL)
me: Oh, one more question.
Russell: Shoot.
me: The charges against you...
Being related to a insane writer from Nevada...
That sort of thing.
Are these accusations true?
Russell: Rather than directly address your question
I would first like to point out that, despite his sneering remarks, President Ahern considered this "Love, Lost and Regained" suitable for his own efforts at transcription, and also to be posted on a website that shall remain unnamed
We have several months of evidence.
me: A worthy point.
Russell: But to answer your question.
This mysterious Russe** is in fact a relation.
Contrary to popular opinion, his first name is Ernest.
That is all.
me: Oh, quite informative.
Thanks for your time!
Russell: My pleasure.
me: A report will be issued shortly...after I contact most of the others...
Russell: I appreciate the exposure.
Excellent. I look forward to reading it.
me: Thanks. I guess I'll go now.
Toodles!
Russell: Bye!
Later, I had the pleasure of interviewing Miss Hunter on the same topic.
Hunter: Hey, Noah, you could interview me now, if you've got the time.
me: Ok.
The topic of my interview will be your recent execution.
How well it was carried out...
That sort of thing.
For instance, were you even contacted?
Hunter: Absolutely not. I had no warning until I was brutally informed by -- of all things -- a YouTube video.
me: Really?
No phone calls?
Death threats?
Hunter: None at all. Of course, I welcome the absence of death threats, but it would have been nice to be prepared for one's death, you know.
me: Absolutely.
Any other comments?
Hunter: It was painful! Really! And a really dreadful betrayal - I mean, Mr. Ahern hired me! I've been working in his offices for nearly a month, and all of a sudden I wake up dead!
I don't even know what I did to deserve such treatment.
me: Well...
The charges...
Your real last name being "Nader"...are these true?
Hunter: Those are completely false.
My last name is Hunter, and has always been Hunter.
me: And the natural implication being that you would be an environmentalist, too.
Hunter: I had never heard of this Nader person until I read my accusation.
me: You deny this too?
Hunter: I forcefully deny any connection with environmentalists, and am definitely not one myself.
me: Oh. I think Nader was Ralph Nader from, I think, the 2000 or 2004 election running as an independant or green party presidential candidate...
Anyway.
I expected as much.
Hunter: Another comment...
I am shocked that John could have come up with this accusation after he hired me...
The time to have made false claims would have been while I was running for President, or when he hired me to work in his office!
me: A worthy point. One would have thought he would have at least looked into it...slightly!
Hunter: Exactly.
And the way in which it was done was so ungentlemanly, so underhand.
I didn't even have time to defend myself.
me: True. The absence of a trial of any sort was an appalling breach of whatever justice there was before the Ahern administration.
Hunter: Precisely.
me: Any other comments before we depart?
Hunter: I think that John should step down from the office of President. Anyone can see that, given this breach of security and morals, he will do nothing good for ISLAS.
me: Thank you for your time.
Hunter: Thank you. It's a pleasure to be able to share my thoughts.
And I'm going to close your IM...
since I have so many. g
me: You're weclome. And Toodles!
Hunter: Bye!
Even later, Mr. Bertilson became available and I interviewed him too...
me: Alright.
I wanted to interview you as to the quality of your execution...as well as how well you were informed beforehand...
G. Bertilson: I was informed when I saw the President's announcement, and thenceforth (I assume) I was dead.
me: You weren't contacted before the public was told?
G. Bertilson: No indeed. ;)
me: So, basically, you weren't even arrested?
Not present at your own execution?
Do you even know where it took place?
G. Bertilson: It's common knowledge that one's execution occurs at whatever place one is, so of course I was present.
me: You were?
Could anybody concur?
G. Bertilson: Of course I was!
me: So? Could anybody confirm that you were present?
G. Bertilson: I don't know. I assume whoever it was that executed me (for indeed as a dead person I can't remember anything) must have been present as well - an executioner generally has trouble doing absentee execution.
me: Yes, one would assume so.
Any other comments concerning this topic?
G. Bertilson: No, I can't say I have anything more to say... except the perennial go John and all that.
me: Ok. Thanks for your time, Mr. Bertilson.
G. Bertilson: Thank you. ;)
So. Has Ahern acted to quickly, and without proper pre-execution notification, and is he ignoring whatever justice system there was before the Ahern administration?
I personally think the executions were carried out most un-expertly. So far, two out of three of the executed both weren't contacted beforehand, but also seemed completely alive earlier today. Also, I suggest we put it to a vote whether to put Mr. Bertilson into an insane alylum. How could one not know they were being executed? Who would even believe someone who believes they'd been executed? Bertilson's story is obviously rediculous.
Interviews of Holms, Hilton and Burns forthcoming within the next few days.
Your, aye, still unbiased reporter,
!Noah!
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