AHERN WEDS BLAKE, THIS TIME IN HIGH-QUALITY YOUTUBE'D QUALITY!

Late last night in the darkest depths of Islasville, John R. Ahern was seen by our late-night watchers, and we quote, "stalking" toward the most prominent church in all Islas. Our team, in turn, "stalked" him, and, upon arriving at the church, set up their video cameras. Within minutes, the event unfolded. Mr. Ahern and Miss Blake were united in holy matrimony last night, sometime between eleven and twelve of the clock, central time. Mr. DenHoed has already attempted to disqualify this high quality, and, we can assure you, entirely authentic recording, saying, reportedly,

"Woah, hold up! I have reason to believe that this has been forged and/or adapted to suit the needs of the posting party."

Also, "Clueless? Dismayed? Distraught? ANGSTY?! BEST MAN?! Pshaw! This is all tom-foolery."

Our regular commentator and well-esteemed enlightener obviously shed some light on the matter.

"Once again, I managed to be at the event. In truth, the coincidence even startles me, to be divinely guided to two weddings for the same man, within the space of a week. In truth, having arrived at two weddings I was not only not invited to, but couldn't possibly have attended, is most remarkable, even for a man such as I. As for Mr. DenHoed's comments...he is clearly been removed from the realm of sanity. Everything in this video, as well as the time, date, etc, etc, etc, confirm it's validity beyond the faintest shade of a doubt. Disproving it would be a more difficult task than to disprove the existence of one's brain. The descriptors used in the video are more than accurate for Mr. Denhoed. Everyone knows that."

UPDATE! NEWLY RETRIEVED: THE ENTIRELY OFFICIAL MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE!

Also, around one this afternoon, John was reported to have said, "...you'd better pack lots of clothes," to a group of Islas girls, referring to the upcomming Islas Gathering. Such implied threats are obviously much more than ungentlemanly.
Mr. Ahern was contacted today, sometime before two O'clock, denying having been married to his exuberant bride, saying, "Thank you, but I'm afraid you have the wrong man. So sorry."
Our team is divided whether to report our president's fairly obvious case of amnesia, or to use, say, a good silver candlestick and see if we can remedy this sad turn of events in one swing.

EDIT: The video chronicling the whole event. Be warned, some parts of this video are more than likely to cause physical injury in the lower torso. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzYC_H7cEU0

Always watching Islas,


!Noah!