Bertilson admits defeat, declares other campaigns remarkably apt at throwing mud

Found in tears early on Thursday, Bertilson admitted defeat. "I've put up a good fight, but I still don't have any idea why nobody but my best and greatest of friends voted for me. It's illogical!"
Some time later, looking less depressed, Bertilson was found watching the Ahern and Hunter campaigns argue on Islas. When asked to comment, he said, "I, Mr. Bertilson, complimented these campaigns earlier! Complimented them! Look where I've got them!"

Bertilson seemed reluctant to admit he had accepted a position on the Hunter-Bertilson campaign.
"I previously admired various aspects of the Hunter campaign," said a Mr. Bertilson who seemed to look cheated. "I thought they would be better than to go to such dispicable levels as mud-slinging."

Bertilson later stated, with some enthusiasm, "Mr. Burns' campaign is now looking somewhat significantly more appealing. The Hunter and Ahern campaigns are lowering the standards for presidential candiates, or at least campaign managers, to a very low, and un-respectable level."


Sincerely,
Your slightly confused reporter.