FINALLY!

Well, I've gone and done it. Oh, my.

I have Flickr Pro. Just wait. I won't have the money to renew it in another year, just watch. HAH!

Anywho. These are some of the best high-exposure pictures I took a couple nights a while ago. I hope the slideshow thing works well!

!Noah!

The Fool

Fool alone

under a cone

did try sometimes

to live without

too far he kept himself

too distanced he was

and yet so close he became

'twas folly, perchance,

but folly his alone.

No friend distinguished

did he keep

but one

Asked he his friend,

"Wilt thou likewise abandon?"

though he the answer knew.

Fool the few did crowd,

and did hold too close

but the closest left behind.

Wanting, he lost,

dreaming, he awoke,

wishing, he did not receive.

Fool slept at ten,

rose at one,

Father Time no notice took.

With no hook,

fool went fishing,

caught a pearl

and they danced.

A car the fool

near overran

he knew his trouble was too great.

The greatest winds,

the pearl said,

must be told!

Agreed, the fool did,

and spake to the winds!

Hard task he had,

but took it he did.

The happy fool

still loved the pearl,

but fool he was,

heart asunder.

The fool later

found another

brighter maybe?

He would not judge.

What good would he do?

None knew, surely not him.

Did he do none?

He still knows not.

!Noah!

205

So many posts. This is, so far, the second most posted-on month of CSAM's history...and, being that I'm only about two thirds through this month, I think I might set a new record.

205. Sorry I missed the round one, but I'm honestly not really impressed or anything. I can't think of anything but to write more. SO.


Lord, let me not forget,
you were there!
I could see you!

Let me never forget!
Should I forget
horror of near nigh a decade past,
let me not forget this!

Lord, I am alive!
What more proof should I need?
Ha! but fool am I...
I will always need more.

Show me every day!
I cannot live without you!
Prove to me daily yourself!
I could not hope besides!


!Noah!

Sock

'Twas fool on the nuts,

did cool and tut

waiting for old,

ending with bold;

did hope afar,

and despair aclose

Fool on the nuts,

hitting none but putts,

ending with lemons,

without spicy smellin'

Blockhead did

and then he hid

under an hour

without a power

Was new

but few,

the joy of the morning;

Hard

as lard

the trouble afore him.

Did wish

to fish,

the fool did.

A loss

not hoped

he sought to ignore.

A fool!

He spake,

and none responded.

Weakling he were

companion he found

dragon he slayed

horror he stayed

A microscope in hand,

advanced he on friend.

"Bring me closer!"

cried the fool.

Fool he was;

wise, though

he became

On nuts did fools their folly contrive

of none happiness deprived

Nay, generous were they!

Father Time did 'low them more,

for fewer idols do they attract.

Believe it or not, after the fifth verse, that actually had a purpose. *shrug*

!Noah!

God

Dear Lord, must you walk so close?
Your steps so close to mine?

But why do I complain!
What fool must I be,
to think this a bad thing;
you are too kind

I once thought,
that prayer no obvious result elicited;
fool am I!
Remember this day I must!
No surer proof have I had yet.

But Lord! Will I not miss the uncertainty?
Is the wonder not sometimes pleasant?
Nay, more likely fodder against thee,

Stay with me, Lord,
stay with me!
Out yet I am not,
and your support I will always need.

Help me to love you more,
I could not without you.


!Noah!

Philadelphia

A friend I have,
a wonderful one.

only fools would think,
to offer me gold;

t'would sway me none,
shine though it might.

A friend I have,
a kind one.

Jewels nor diamonds
could compare

Rubies nor emeralds
would tempt me

offer me anything
I will not take it

No, my friend will be mine,
for nothing sublime
would change my mind.


!Noah!

I Love This Thing

Totally. (This Thing)

!Noah!

He Really Had It Coming

Oh, yes he did.

If you can't figure out what that on the bottom says...I'll tell!

!Noah!

Dear Reader,

Were I the type to use expletives, I'd utilize a couple here. Please understand that it is only on rather infrequent occasions that this happens. Perhaps once a week. But to the point.

Cogitans se ad Mortem is now MORE THAN TWO YEARS OLD!

Important? No. I FORGOT IT?! Yes.

Aye, it appears that, 17 days more than two years ago, I began a slow and inconsistent journey with no set destination...and I still don't know where I'm going with this!

Anywho. I've got a new idea for a story, I think I might continue After the Tree Falls, but, for reasons unrevealed, the continued production of Ketchup has become mind-bogglingly difficult. Ok, to be honest, I'm just gonna tell you.

Ketchup is a story meant to mirror the events of my life, mainly on the romantic side of things. Just about everything else is imaginative and barely-inspired fiction. The main problem with this? Jack doesn't have any parents! This seems, to me, to be the biggest problem right now. His parents were killed somehow a few years ago...and so he doesn't have any!

Why, you might ask, do I need him to have parents?

Well, somehow or other, my parents have played some role in my romantic dealings throughout my life. Dealing with the difference between Jack and I on that level seems something too big to overcome.

So, I seem to have two choices: to continue Ketchup like I started, ignoring the fact that my parents played such a huge role there... (also might introduce parent-esque characters...unlikely, though), OR I'll continue Ketchup, placing much less emphasis on making it true to my life.

I'm open to suggestions, but on to the rest of things.

First, my idea for the new story. There is this guy...I think I named him Neville, at some point (after the chap in Harry Potter), who ends up, by means not important, in a coma (definition of coma being, for this instance, he's able to hear, but not react, in any way, to his surroundings. Can't see...I think I'll let him feel). He's got a girlfriend who literally doesn't leave his side (most of the time). Also, there'd be a nurse, who I've decided will be a right crazy nut. I think I'll leave you to wonder what happens in the end, but, now that I think about it, I wonder whether it's too predictable. Try predicting, I guess. I'd be glad to find out if it is.

Oooook. So, Ketchup may be dead, AttF might live, and a story might be begun whose title I think I might have thought of. Anywho.

Thoughts? Slaps? Worried looks?


!Noah!

Pining

Pining is a strange word. Take, for instance, its root, pinen, a Middle English word meaning to torture, torment, or inflict pain. In its origin, this word had little to do with longing, let alone love of any sort. However, today, the word aptly describes a feeling that can be because of separation, loss, or, being that human emotions are immensely complicated, a number of other things.

Opposites to pining would probably include anything that would also seem the polar opposite of love. Hate, distaste, or, perhaps, rejection would all fit as opposites. Synonyms, however, are fewer, I think. Yearning and longing seem the closest to pining, but even love and admiration are synonyms, if a tad distant.

This word aptly describes relationships in history and fiction; for instance, Antony pined after Cleopatra to the point where he abandoned his own army in order to stay with her. Anakin in the Star Wars saga pines, at first, after Padme, a well-positioned queen and then senator. His yearning for her eventually leads to the downfall of the old Republic, and eventually his own death.

"To pine," in fact, would well describe even most friendships over even short (but definitely long) distances. A friend might long strongly for a friend who is even mere blocks away. Pining, I think, is created by two things, first, a love that can be either romantic or friendly, accompanied by boundaries, varying from distance to parental command. These two factors allow for an immensely strong feeling of yearning that, like most other emotions, has the capability to overcome a person and make them make bad decisions.

Pining is, like any emotion, a powerful thing. One merely has to leave a good friend far away for even a month or so to realize this. However, few of us realize the full power of this (or any) emotion, as it could be, because we have fewer boundaries and circumstances that allow emotions to grow and prosper. The adversity that nearly any other country besides the United States would afford would doubtless provide a breeding ground much more fertile for the most potent of emotions, because the value of the life not only of oneself, but the life of any other, is so much more magnified. We cannot even take for granted our relatively impotent emotions in the comparison between the New World and the third world.

!Noah!

Forgiveness

Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That's what I came here to say.

But if I was wrong,
Then I'm sorry,
I don't let it stand in our way.

As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things that I shouldn't have done.

But, life is for living,
We all know,
And I don't wanna live it alone.

Why must I seek what I already have?

Why must I want what I do not need?

Why must I dream of wonders too great for my current existence?

Help me, Lord!

!Noah!

Alone

Lord, shall you leave me alone in this wasteland?
Shall I wake each morning to no new joys?
You know, Lord, what I was made for;
shall this sadness last so long?


Did I live for the wrong reason?
Was my purpose diverted from praising you?
Did I fail to love you more?


In what did I fail, my Lord,
to deserve this torture?
I know one or two;
give me all my faults!
I cannot learn from so few.


My God, my God, show me again your face!


!Noah!

Likeness

The wilderness have I searched,

and the wastes of mankind have I wandered,

yet have I found one equal, one similar?

No, the wastes have I searched,

and few waste were not, that I found.

What then? Did I do this?

Did I make such uniqueness?

Fool! How could you have?

You pride yourself too much in yourself.

But how, O Lord?

How can I search anything BUT the dump?

Or how may I scour the gold I know?

Shall I look for you where only you can be found?

Lord, three have desired, and one have I dreamed of,

is this dream a foolishness?

Do I count myself more influential and persuasive than I am?

Could this dream, this horror, become a true and real wonder?

So hard would it be, Lord...

why do I look for difficulty,

when I have nothing else?

Let me learn from my faults, Lord;

show me where I erred, so I may correct.

You know why arithmetic so troubles me.

Reveal my fault!

!Noah!

Memories

And what of these memories?

Have I lived in vain thus far?

Should I forget the wonders,

the joys and kindness?

No, I tell myself...

admiration does not necessitate love.

!Noah!

Return

Where did I go wrong?

What fault do I have?

Lord, I take the blame,

but, if asked, I could not answer.

Will I ever return?

Euphoria may slow it,

but how can I ever return,

happiness bringing?

Will the fire not rekindle with a kindly breeze?

And the blaze supressed be refreshed by the wind?

Three days have I waited, Lord, but how long must I?

!Noah!

ALPHA BRAVO CHARLIE ECHO FOXTROT!

I just had the best conversation ever. EVER. EVERRRRR!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLA!

Stranger: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

You: Duuuudde!

You: You don't seem like a dim bulb!

You: Like most people!

You: XD

Stranger: WOOOOOOOOT

You: ALPHA BRAVO CHARLIE ECHO FOXTROT GOLF HOTEL INDIA KILO JULIETT!

You: LIMA OSCAR MIKE NOVEMBER!

Stranger: SUPER MONKEY TEAM ALPHA SQUAD ZERO GO GO GO

You: LIMA OSCAR LIMA!

You: MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

You: SQUAD FOXTROT IS BUDDYSPIKED, ABORT!

Stranger: SQUAD FOXTRAT COME IN FOXTRAT THIS IS MONKEY ALPHA REQUESTING PICKUP

You: SQUAD ALPHA, SQUAD ALPHA, DID THAT NUKE HIT YOU?

You: COME IN, ALPHA!

You: ALPHA LEADER, RESPOND!

Stranger: RIGH TIN THE FACE FOXTROT

Stranger: RIGHT

Stranger: IN

Stranger: THE

Stranger: FACE

You: BRAVO!

You: HAVE YOU LOST ANY M EN!?

Stranger: I EAT NUKES ALL DAY FOXTROT, THEY EAT IT LIKES ITS BREAKFAST

You: JULIETT, DO YOU NEED MEDICAL SUPPORT!

You: YES SIR FOXTROT!

You: TWO MEN DOWN, ALPHA"S COMING OUR WAY!

You: SIR!

Stranger: WERE COMMING IN HOT FOXTROT TAKE COVER

You: KILO, TAKE COVER!

Stranger: -pew pew pew pew pew-

You: SHELLS COMING FROM TWELVE O CLOCK, FOXTROT!

You: DELTA, FLANK THEIR RIGHT SIDE!

Stranger: WERE UNDER HEAVY FIRE ASWELL

Stranger: WERE PINNED

You: YES THAT"S WHAT I SAID, JULIETT, LEAVE THEM BEHIND!

You: NO!

Stranger: WEVE LOST CARLOS

You: SQUAD TANGO, AID ALPHA!

Stranger: RODRIGO, AND HERNANDEZ ARE GONE

You: SQUAD ECHO, TAKE OUT THAT ARTILLERY!

Stranger: THIS IS TANGO, WERE DOWN FIVE, SQUAD BETA IS ENEMY, REPEAT, SQUAD BETA IS ENEMY

You: SQUAD ALPHA, DID YOU HELP JULIETT"S MEDICAL NEEDS?!

Stranger: THIS IS SQUAD ALPHA

You: TURNCOATS IN THE RANKS, MEN!

Stranger: IM THE ONLY ONE LEFT FOXTROT

You: SQUAD BRAVO HAS TURNED SIDES!

Stranger: BUT THE NUKE IS STILL HERE

Stranger: TAKE JULIET AND GO

Stranger: IL TAKE EVERYTHING OUT FOXTROT

You: SQUADS ZULU, YANKEE, WHISKEY, XRAY AND HOTEL, COME IN!

You: WE NEED AIR SUPPORT, HEADQUARTERS!

Stranger: ITS BEEN AN HONOR SERVING YOU, FOXTROT

Stranger: IM SETTING IT OFF NOW, GOOD BYE, GOD BLESS AMERICA

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

!Noah!

SIERRA ALPHA DELTA

How, God, can I be so joyous at such a time as this?

Show me the way, Lord...the moon nor the sun lights my way today.

Foxtrot romeo echo echo mike echo, Lima oscar romeo delta.

!Noah!

I DIDN"T TAKE OFF MY SOCKS!

The course of history is changed forever. I didn't take off my socks. I'm greaattt!

!Noah!

Replacement

Replacement, hah! Are you too destined for failure?
Can I find no solid companion?
Will my walk, these days, have to be alone?

Much pride I might take,
should that be the case,
but I am not strong enough.

Most have not the time,
some do, in fact, some agree,
some gather for similar reasons,
but am I like them?

No, my grief is greater, my torment harder.


!Noah!

The Dump

Oh, my heart, why can you not be shallow?
But would even that aid my trouble?
Would life still not grind me as it does now?


I have searched through the refuse,
(some call it dumpster diving),
and two have I found;
but no comfort have they rendered.


Shall I only have shallow, short pleasures,
and my toils and troubles be endless and mauling?


An ocean is between us,
and foolishness it would be to advance,
but who is my friend?
God, what lesson will I learn from this solitude?
What moral will this escalation bring me?
Can I never learn the ways I should walk without such pain?


Lord, so I wait.


!Noah!

No Parking

GAH! NO! I'm not going to go on about how looonnngggg I haven't posted, but, really, if you were going to paint my mailbox puke green, you really should have done it before now. Really.


Shall I never have another sister?
One too few have I, and unwilling I have become
to take another, to love as loving siblings do


Have I wrought this destruction? 
Is this sadness from my own hand?


Long did I wish for a brother or sister, I cared not
to leap and laugh with, through the golden fields of life
shall I never know this pleasure, my Lord?
Shall I romp alone, and run freely, but without accompaniment?


Lord, am I ungrateful? 
Do my tears only reflect my weakness and folly?


Will my arms never welcome a sister,
will my hands never comfort as only a brother can?


Lord, have you shaped me this way?
Was your hand the one to give me these weaknesses?
Why must I struggle? Why must this life resist me?


Will I never laugh as only friends can?
Must I restrain myself from interaction for the sake of others?
Will my foolish weakness never leave me?


Lord, can you not afford me this companionship?
Can I find a lesser friend on this earth only?
So wise I thought myself, and so godly;
is this torture only to show the reverse?


I have no such faith.


!Noah!