As I ran into a friend yesterday who thought my analysis of movies, "...needs some work," I decided to explain why my ratings may seem either low or high for whatever movie I review. Upon further inquiry, I found that this person was most annoyed with me for giving Bella three and a half stars (not on here, on Islas). First, that was just after seeing the movie. Upon writing a full review, my rating might rise, or, quite impossibly, fall. Second, I rate movies so that getting five stars means you have to be one of the three best movies I've ever seen, at, say, the point of my death. That's probably why I'm not going to be giving out either five- or zero-star ratings. Quite simply, the two extremes are, for me, not to hand out to just any good or bad movie that comes along. Currently, I think The Dark Knight and Life is Beautiful are the best guesses I have now for those top three.
○○○○○ Thrice-in-a-lifetime apocholyptically vile.
½○○○○ (between)
●○○○○ Disastrously loathsome.
●½○○○ (between)
●●○○○ Fairly dreadful.
●●½○○ (between)
●●●○○ One Mile Over Mediocre.
●●●½○ (between)
●●●●○ Quite fantastic.
●●●●½ (between)
●●●●● Thrice-in-a-lifetime breathtakingly heavenly.
I hope that explains why I'll probably be giving mostly ratings varying from two and a half to four and a half. I haven't seen a lot of horrible movies. The closest is probably Madagascar, and I'd probably still give that thing two and a half.
Your insanely confusing, fairly determined, and slightly offended writer,
!Noah!
8 comments:
"My Fair Lady" was pretty awful too.
But then, I'm prejudiced. I hate the end. *g*
-Erin
It's been a long time since I saw that one...
!Noah!
You should make your five and zero stars be five best movies. IN case you were interested.
My Fair Lady and Madagascar were both awful.
Erin...I suppose if I turn up with five movies that really rocked my socks off, I probably will do it. I suppose you could say the five- and zero-star ratings are actually lists, but that's kind of odd. Anywho.
Ruth...As I recall, I liked My Fair Lady at least a bit, but I was young...Madagascar wasn't apocholyptic, but it was the generic stuff I'd usually expect from Dreamworks.
!Noah!
In my opinion:
Singing in the Rain should be rated very high!!!
*Singing in the Rain fanatic* :D
Sorry, that was a rather random quote :S
Good grief, I need to stop talking. I meant comment not quote. *rolls eyes at self*
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