God With Us

In my life, it's become a pretty solid habit to be skeptical of people and things as a matter of course, and if for no other reason than to offset my propensity toward gullibility, it's a good habit to have.

However, it's been used often enough by the Devil to bring into question God's love for me, his grace toward me, and his will for my good. I think in my head that the thoughts in my head have nothing to do with him or his desire for my sanctification.

Be there any goodness in my thoughts and actions?

Why, it must be my "good Christian upbringing," and an "innate favor toward honesty," of course. A moment of generosity or kindness, hospitality or forgiveness...

Ah, the character of Noah. What merit, what heart, what unending patience.

Hogwash.

What folly that I should think such high thoughts of myself. So many of the confessions we say in church sound so pompous and foolish to me as I say them, but perhaps if I weren't a pompous, arrogant fool it wouldn't sound so.

It would do me good to see God's hand more. My cynicism assures me time and time again that God doesn't do that sort of thing, he isn't really near or in me...no, it's all in your head, perhaps in your heart too, but God?

This habitual cynicism bears down upon the miracles of today, as well. I grew up Lutheran and Presbyterian, and never had much faith for miraculous healing. I remember once cautioning a friend that one couldn't always believe what one read or heard from friends of faith and belief, change and healing.

None of this to say we should have minds free from skepticism; skepticism is extremely valuable; it is the darker side of the coin that is discernment. I'm not sure what I'd call the other side of the coin, but as is often the case, the analogy will break down if I spend too much time on it, so I'll pass on.


All this to say, I must remember that God IS present, he IS powerful, and he IS changing me, despite my best efforts and without immediate regard for my own comfort or understanding.

The goodness in me, generosity in me, the hope in me, the love in me, the grace in me, whatever good I have or show or am...

All is not only owed to Christ, but owned by him, and proceeds to purchase souls to glorify him and love him more.

Unfortunately yours,


!Noah!