Suddenly I know how to talk to everyone but the person I most love to talk to.
It's horrible of me to keep going back to this. It's in almost every possible way a dead dream...I mean, she's not engaged or anything, but still.
I am a blockhead. It's probably not exactly my fault that I'm where I am. Not entirely. Not in the ways I most care about, I mean. I guess I can't really describe it.
It's weird. When I'm with people besides my family, I don't talk much, and I feel like I'm not doing my share of the conversatin'. Then again, when I do start talking, to some degree, I can't stop. I haven't gotten much of a chance in a while, really. I haven't gotten a backscratch recently, either. That's important.
Hoppipolla. There's actually an accenty-thing over the I, but besides that, the name's right.
Sigur Ros. Accenty-thing over the O in that one, as well.
It's really beautiful stuff, but we were talking so fast that when she first told me about them, I didn't even realize what she was saying.
Or is that what we had is gone, and all that was gained through it?
No, I'm different, better because of her. Dang it.
I wish I could tell her, but honestly, my heart is far too confusing a place to just say something like that.
Honestly, I just want to talk to her again. But she's living her life, loving her friends...her boyfriend, and I'm here, wishing I was some small part of that mosaic.
I feel like something went wrong, that, somehow, her life going in a different direction than mine can't be everything. I wish I could go and tell her how I feel, how I wish things could be, and make that happen, like in the movies, but I don't think the girl would appreciate that.
I overthink. I guess I should ask her out.
Except now I'm talking about a different girl.
!Noah!
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