Do Better

So a couple nights ago, I was laying in bed, thinking about my day, what had happened over the last few weeks (rather a lot, actually), and thinking about what God's given me. I recently got a job pretty much dumpster diving and ripping apart consumer electronics in a mad search for modern-day gold...which turns out rather to be steel, brass, bronze, and copper. At the very best, there's the gold in all the circuit boards, but you can only imagine how little there actually is in them.

Still, I'm grateful.

Or am I?

For some stupid reason, I found myself thinking, "God, you could do better."

Multiple times, actually. I spent a bit of time regretting it, and then thought it again.

Eventually my heart got involved and explained to me that God couldn't do better with me.

And that naturally opened up a furious firestorm of misunderstanding in my mind.

Of course, God COULD do better, in my specific instance.

But God WOULDN'T do better for me, specifically. It's weird, trying to say God's doing something perfect in the world and still trying to say his ability isn't limited. If an artist creates a masterpiece, it can later be eclipsed by an even better work.

I guess at this point I don't really know what I'm saying. But the point is, God is good.

Also, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. It's not a sure thing yet, but I might be losing my job.

Dirtbag McSpleen. That's me.


!Noah!