July 10, 2009

BERTILSON STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE, CALLS FOR AHERN'S RESIGNATION

We found Mr. Bertilson in one of the more shady regions of Islasdom, where he seemed to have found something of a home with a group of other rather poverty-stricken people. Bertilson seemed happy, but still wished he'd been dead several weeks ago.
"It's entirely unacceptable. Look at me! I literally have flyspit short of nil! The clothes on my back, some friends, and less than a dollar in change. Mr. Ahern may have executed the rest of the condemned, but, as of now, I can see no other possibility than that he is attempting to enjoy punishing me before ending my life. This is nothing but disgraceful. First, our president initiates legislation that requires us to unbe what we are, then, when we find it impossible, we are accused of these things. Our president is less than irrational; it is my opinion that he has literally lost his mind. As a mind is more than necessary for governing a complex and hopelessly romantic populus, I hereby call for Mr. Ahern's resignation as soon as possible."

One or two fairly faint bravos were heard from his companions, and we said our goodbyes.


!Noah!

15 comments:

The Tolkienist said...

If I were elected president of Islas, I would make your execution a priority.

Anonymous said...

Ah, quit ya' whining.

Lillian Taylor said...

"Bravo!" =D

I rather think we should execute the president instead.... It'd certainly be very interesting... =D

Lillian Taylor said...
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Lillian Taylor said...
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John R. Ahern said...

Executions take time and money. If you insist on a more timely execution, don't start whining if we tax you.

Anonymous said...

So...
-Executions take money.

-Person who is going to get executed to be taxed.

-Person who is being executed is being taxed and so paying for his execution?


What joy! Excellent idea, Mr. President!

Иơαħ said...

If I were president, an execution would seldom take more than a day after it was announced to be carried out. If necessary, I'd rent myself a good-sized axe for the job. Mr. Ahern, on the other hand, wants, seemingly, to spend extravagant amounts of money for me, when he's already deprived me of all my money. It's simply irrational, outrageous, and stupid. If Mr. Ahern's going to have someone convicted of a petty and uncommonly common crime, why won't he take the baby step it would take to give them a shameful execution?


!Noah!

Persona said...

Oh, but it's best to take time, and laze around. :P It gets the people excited.

Anonymous said...

Noah, that's why you're not the president.

You have no taste, no flourish, no joie de vivre.

A non mouse said...

Anonymous, I must say I agree with you heartily.

Иơαħ said...

True, true. Still, a president should at least give his entirely invalid executee the choice of a wildly pompous execution or a not-so-pompous one. No choice.


!Noah!

Persona said...

Why on earth should he do that?

Иơαħ said...

Couldn't possibly be because I want it that way, could it?


!Noah!

A non mouse said...

No, 'cause you're not the president.