I think one of the lies I've been telling myself or thinking, and which has been kind of running the show about how I think about life, is that some sacrifice is necessary on my part for God to be kind to me, for God to give me good things.
For God to fulfill the deepest longings of my heart.
But don't I have to, "seek first the kingdom of God," and "then all these things will be added to you"?
I mean, that does seem like it indicates that you need to do something to receive "these things," right?
On the other hand, I know that nothing God gives me can I ever earn. So, my best efforts to pursue him, to do devotions daily, to attend church regularly, to be in community, to build and show the fruits of the spirit...none of it *earns* God's pleasure or the gifts he ends up giving me.
I'm a sinner, so abundantly short of earning something from God that I can't even earn myself the right to live but for him being gracious and merciful first.
But where does "seeking first" come in? If I have to prioritize love for God in my life, do all the things that a good Christian would do, in order for God to love me in giving me good things, I'm *earning* that, right? Or do I have to pursue God at all?
I can't earn his love...it'll be given to me no matter what I do, but in response to that love, I choose to reply in love.
That's, I think, how Christianity is supposed to work.
But the way Jesus says it, it sounds like our efforts to seek him are casual of his providing all that we need. And that can't be; God isn't gracious or generous or kind based on our works, is he?
What am I missing here? Is this not a contradiction?
!Noah!
